Navigating Parenthood Outside of Marriage: A Biblical Perspective

So much has been said and a lot of talk on different political issues has been at the forefront of many of our political leaders and faith leaders public messaging. One topic in particular that does not receive a lot of attention that is worth addressing I believe is that of parenthood outside of marriage. I recently came across some very interesting content on LBP's YouTube channel. There is a video series called "Folks" from the 1980's that I find fascinating and considering the fact I was under 5 years of age when the videos were recorded.

There are numerous topics covered from Jazz in Louisiana to the Civil Rights Movement to Teenage Pregnancy. I don't usually binge watch however I will definitely be binge watching this series to learn about life in Louisiana in the 1980s, a time when I was just entering the world. In one of the videos as I was watching, one state representative from Louisiana caught my attention as he talked about the high rates of women and girls having children outside of marriage. Considering the public conversations and messages we hear today from political leaders, hearing this political leader speak out on this particular topic really caught my undivided attention. Rarely do we hear about this spoken in a public setting and even from Faith leaders which I find to be quite concerning.

I touched briefly on the subject in my new book Sacred Civic Action, and what I believe to be of utmost importance. We must deal with the root causes of what we consider to be societal norms rather than just treating the symptoms. Just because it's common and acceptable in society does not mean it's morally right. Having experienced parenting outside of marriage and pregnancy as a teen, it was a challenge for me. I appreciate the journey and would not go back and change anything even if I had the chance to. However, I understand there are real consequences to navigating parenthood outside of marriage in which I will talk about.

In today’s world, family dynamics have become more diverse, with increasing numbers of children being born outside of marriage. While every child is a blessing and deeply loved by God, it’s important to reflect on the broader consequences of raising children in a context that deviates from God’s original design for the family. Scripture provides clear guidance on the ideal foundation for raising children, and veering from this blueprint can have both spiritual and practical impacts.

1. God's Design for the Family
The Bible emphasizes marriage as a covenantal union between a man and a woman, meant to serve as the foundation for family life. Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This union is meant to be a stable, nurturing environment in which children are born and raised. When children are born outside of marriage, this foundation is often lacking, which can lead to instability in the home and challenges in family life.

2. Emotional and Financial Instability
Studies have shown that children born outside of marriage are more likely to face emotional and financial difficulties. Without the commitment that marriage entails, relationships between parents can become strained, leading to separation or single parenting. This can result in children growing up in environments where they lack the emotional security of having both parents present. Additionally, single-parent homes often struggle financially, which can limit opportunities for children and place a burden on the parent.

3. Impact on the Child’s Development
Children thrive in environments where there is stability, love, and a strong support system. A home built on the foundation of marriage provides a sense of security and continuity that is harder to achieve outside of this covenant. Children raised outside of marriage may face challenges in emotional development, often dealing with confusion or pain regarding their family structure. The lack of a clear, united parental front can affect a child’s understanding of commitment, love, and their own identity.

4. Spiritual Consequences
From a biblical standpoint, the absence of marriage as the foundation for raising children can hinder spiritual growth and development in the family. Ephesians 6:4 calls parents to “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” When a household isn’t built on God’s design, it can be more challenging to pass down faith and biblical values consistently. The parents’ spiritual leadership is critical for the child’s walk with God, and a fragmented home can dilute this important aspect of life.

5. Societal Impacts
On a broader level, the breakdown of the traditional family unit can impact society. When families are not built on strong foundations, it can contribute to generational cycles of poverty, relationship instability, and weakened community structures. The health of a society often mirrors the health of its families. By upholding God’s design for marriage, we contribute to a society that honors commitment, responsibility, and love.

While it is essential to acknowledge that every family’s story is unique and God’s grace is sufficient for all situations, it’s equally important to recognize the value of His design for marriage and family. Children born outside of marriage should be loved, cared for, and supported by their parents and community, but we must also strive to encourage God’s plan for families—one that begins with the sacred union of marriage. By doing so, we provide the best possible environment for children to grow, thrive, and understand God’s love and purpose for their lives.

As believers, let us commit to supporting families, offering grace, and upholding the sanctity of marriage as the foundation for raising the next generation.

Reflection Questions:

1.How does the biblical ideal of marriage provide a foundation for raising children?

2. How can the church model Christ’s love for children, regardless of their family structure?



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Cynthia Young

Certified Life Coach Minister